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Sherlock x Reader by JaneWeller

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October 25, 2013
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Three years.

He'd been gone for three years and it pained her so much. She couldn't deal with the constant reminders of his existence. Sometimes she would convince herself that he wasn't real, that he was all in her head.

But she couldn't find the confidence to change the apartment or get rid of his belongings. They stayed in the same place and were cleaned with the help of Mrs Hudson.

She went on dates but she didn't feel anything towards them. They made her laugh and smile but they didn't make her heart skip a beat the same way he did.

Their smiles weren't as crooked and their eyes didn't light up and nothing spontaneous ever happened and she grew bored.

Life had grown boring.

John had gone off on plenty of dates and had grown a moustache much to her disliking.

They hadn't spoken about him, they would never dare bring him up in a conversation to stop the pain in their chests. At odd moments they would sometimes say or do something that would remind them of him and they'd smile until they became a train-wreck.

Now John had scurried off on another date with Mary, leaving (Y/N) to her own devices.

She curled up on his old chair in her pyjama trousers and blue short sleeved t shirt. The TV was on but her mind was distracted.

John had suggested a few times to get new furniture but she protested against it, saying there was nothing wrong with the furniture they had and there was no need to change it. So it stayed, everything stayed.

Her fingers tapped against the arm of the chair as she hummed a symphony that she had heard Sherlock play when she was recovering from the hospital when they had first met all those years ago.

"That's a symphony that I had written isn't it?"

The monotone voice stopped her humming and tapping simultaneously. It was her mind playing tricks on her, that wasn't his voice.

He wasn't there.

He wasn't standing by the door in his white shirt that was protected by his black blazer and trousers, his jacket and scarf hanging on the bannister of the stairs no more than three feet from the door.

She slowly whipped her head around to see if it was true. Her eyes must have been playing tricks on her.

"Sherlock?" She whispered. She jumped up from her chair but didn't move near him.

She didn't want to believe he was there. If she did it was too good to be true.

"Hi."

"No, no no no no." She shook her head as she repeated the simple word over and over again.

Sherlock stepped towards her and like the opposite side of a magnet she moved away.

"You're dead, I-I watched you fall. I watched you hit that pavement and watch your blood seep onto the concrete and watched your lifeless body be taken away from me."

She found her back hitting the bookshelf that had a layer of dust growing over it.

"(Y/N) let me explain-"

"No, no this isn't happening." She gripped onto several books on the shelf and slowly removed them from the shelf. "You're dead, you're dead you selfish bastard!"

She began throwing the first books she found at him as he attempted to step closer to her. Only a few hit him and he raised his arms to protect himself from the spins and corners of the books he had read several times over the years he had lived there.

Tears streamed down her face and she stopped throwing objects. Her hands trembled and she leaned against the table to stop herself from falling over.

"Mrs Hudson!" She shrieked. There was no one else to shout on. There was no noise from downstairs, no sound of Mrs Hudson scurrying to her rescue. "Mrs Hudson!"

"She's down in the cafe, now (Y/N) please listen to me." Sherlock urged, walking towards her.

There was nowhere else for her to run, her back was literally against a wall and she couldn't moved, paralysed by fear and curiosity.

When he was close enough and as his fingertips tapped the outline of her hips she slapped him across the cheek with the back of her hand.

She punched his chest, her knuckles turning white as she cried and screamed, letting go of all of the emotions she had been holding in her trembling body for three years.

"Why did you go..you left me, you left John.." Sherlock caught her trembling hands in his own strong and steady hands. "You promise you wouldn't leave me but you did, you broke another promise."

She fell against his chest, sobbing quietly and clung onto his shirt as she stained his clean shirt with her salted tears.

"I was tempted to kill myself so many times in hopes that I would be able to see your face again. That's all I wanted, to see you again and stupid photographs weren't good enough." She sniffled. Sherlock wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

He had seen the changes that his so called death had caused. She was broken and bruised. She had built an armour and wouldn't dare to allow anyone the ability to break it down after the years it had taken to construct it.

The scars on her arms were enough to raise suspicions on how depressed she was, on how desperate she wanted the pain to go away.

And it killed him seeing her this way. It killed him even more when she confessed to contemplating suicide and it made him feel worse when he was the cause of all her pain.

But he couldn't hold back any longer. He had to see her again, he had to hold her, kiss her. Make her smile again.
I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF AND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY MIND FOR A FEW DAYS EVER SINCE THERE WAS A GLIMPSE OF HOPE ABOUT THE RELEASE DATE 

this will not be a new series, not yet anyway, this is just a teaser 
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:iconpinklolita97:
Pinklolita97 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
rainbow cry Cry forever Cry run Frozen - Elsa Crying Icon :crying: rvmp Cry emote Neko Emoji-14 (Cry) [V1] 1 Tears of Joy Luffy Anime Emoji (Cry) [V4] Miuna Crying Icon Jake crying plz Bunny Emoji-07 (Emoji Cry) [V1] Pikachu crying plz Pyong Cry Chisaki Crying Icon Pikachu crying :smallestviolinplayinjustforu: Racing Girl Emoji (Please forgive me) [V3] Menma Honma (I still want to be with everyone) V1 crying Butterfree cries Cry Mikasa Ackerman (Crying) [V1] Sparta Emoji-02 (Cries) crying Roy cry Zelda crying Rose cry  you killed my feels
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:iconwhovian13423:
Whovian13423 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Student Writer
:crying: rvmp crying Crying Mako Elsie (Crying) [V1]  I CANT! MY FEELS ARE BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconaskphillipines:
askphillipines Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
shshshshshshshshshshshsh teasers XD man i hope this does turn into a series
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a 3 part series :p 
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:iconaskphillipines:
askphillipines Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
yussss
Reply
:iconlawlshibepowa:
LAWLSHIBEPOWA Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014
Grrrrr Sherlock! I would've punched him so much he black out I mean dammit 3 years!
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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
At least books were thrown though! And John got to punch him in the face! 
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:iconlawlshibepowa:
LAWLSHIBEPOWA Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014
True true
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:iconciel-phantomhive3:
Ciel-phantomhive3 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014
You selfish bastard why would you do this to me
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Because he's selfish- but he had to
Reply
:iconinugirl115:
Inugirl115 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
I would've slaped him then kissed him
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I would've have the same :L
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:iconinugirl115:
Inugirl115 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
lol yup
Reply
:iconcryryanismineladies:
cryryanismineladies Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Yup # he never dies # my feelz
Reply
:iconinugirl115:
Inugirl115 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014
ikr
Reply
:iconcryryanismineladies:
cryryanismineladies Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Lol
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:iconhoodieslenderverse:
HoodieSlenderverse Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconcraiplz: #SHERLOCKWILLNEVERBEDEAD #IMSOSAD #;'<
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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
#Sherlockwillalwayslive #pleasedontbesad D:
Reply
:iconhoodieslenderverse:
HoodieSlenderverse Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
#Damnstraighthewill   #:'<Okie  #:iconcraiplz:
Reply
:iconilovemoonshine:
Ilovemoonshine Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I would have thrown a lot more then books at him

 

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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think many people would have done the same
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Student General Artist
:iconcraiplz: JEEZUSSSS.... Aw, it's so sad... Murr...
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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww I'm sorry D: :iconsupertighthugplz: 
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:iconrosebud278:
Rosebud278 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Writer
:iconcraiplz: That's so sad...
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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'M SORRY! :iconsupertighthugplz:
Reply
:iconrosebud278:
Rosebud278 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Student Writer
lol it's okay :)
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:icondeathfrisbee221b:
DeathFrisbee221B Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*sniff* S-Sherlock...
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*pats back*  I know, I know 
Reply
:iconluminiasaurusneko:
LuminiasaurusNeko Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013
OH GLOB I LOVE YOU AGAIN *crying still from the last one* :iconcraiplz:
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE YOU TOO! *hands box to tissues* 
Reply
:iconluminiasaurusneko:
LuminiasaurusNeko Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013
Danke *takes tissues*
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's okay. *pats back*
Reply
:iconanimewhofan001:
animewhofan001 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
YES YES YAY, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL I FEEL SO HAPPY
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
THAN YOU SO MUCH I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH! :iconletmehugyouplz:
Reply
:iconanimewhofan001:
animewhofan001 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconsupertighthugplz: IT WAS HAPPY AND OMG IT WAS JUST AWESOME, YOU DID AWESOME, NO TEARS THIS TIME :D
Reply
:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
YAY NO TEARS THIS TIME! I DID GOOD! I DIDN'T MAKE ANYONE CRY THIS TIME! 
Reply
:iconjaneweller:
JaneWeller Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The best teaser EVER! That's so beautiful. :iconhappytearsplz:
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:iconpandaexperience:
PandaExperience Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! Pikachu Glomp 
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